You’re Not Too Much—You’re Just in the Wrong Room

There’s a lie that creeps into too many minds, especially the ones I work with. It doesn’t usually sound like “I’m worthless.”It sounds like:

• “I’m too intense.”

• “I need too much.”

• “I should be easier to love, to help, to tolerate.”

Frankly, I said it just a few weeks ago to a new friend.

But here’s the truth: your value doesn’t change just because the room you're in doesn’t recognize it.

A bottle of water doesn’t become less water if someone only offers 50 cents for it. It’s the same product. The price just reflects the setting.

Let’s talk therapy for a moment.

Too many people walk into therapy rooms where they are not met with clarity, structure, or strength. They’re handed tissues, vague encouragement, or empty affirmations. And when they don’t feel better, they assume something must be wrong with them.

That’s like blaming the water for being in the wrong vending machine. You’re not too much. You’re just in the wrong room.

What Happens in the Wrong Room:

• You’re constantly explaining yourself.

• You’re asked to soften, to “calm down,” to settle for being partially understood.

• You leave conversations—or therapy—feeling worse, not clearer.

• You wonder if maybe you are the problem.

  
  

No, friend. That’s misplacement, not malfunction.

What the Right Room Feels Like:

• You don’t have to beg to be believed.

• Directness is respected, not shamed.

• There’s structure, data, and strategy, not just discussion.

• You leave with insight and action, not confusion.

Reframe It

When someone doesn’t value you, your brain can automatically tell you, “See? This proves you are too much.”

Pause. That’s a cognitive distortion. It’s called emotional reasoning—believing something is true because it feels true.

But emotion isn’t evidence.

Try this reframe:

“Their reaction doesn’t define my worth. It reveals their capacity.”

If you’ve spent too long in spaces that diminish your insight, overwhelm, grief, or sensitivity, maybe it’s time to walk out of that room.

There are better ones.

Start placing yourself where clarity is valued, where structure is offered, and where your intensity isn’t treated like a problem, but a power.

Learn More