Use It to Lose It: The Power of Neuroplasticity and the If/Then Trap
- Piper Harris, APC NCC
- Mar 24
- 3 min read
You’ve heard the saying “use it or lose it,” but when it comes to your brain, it’s more accurate to say: use it to lose it—lose what holds you back, that is.
This is the magic of neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to reorganize, adapt, and form new neural connections throughout life. It’s how we heal, build new habits, recover from setbacks, and create new patterns of thought and behavior. And while this ability is most abundant in childhood and early adulthood, it doesn’t disappear as we age—it just takes more intentional effort.
Why Neuroplasticity Is Incredible
Neuroplasticity allows us to:
Rewire the brain after trauma and other distressing events
Change entrenched thought patterns
Build resilience and emotional regulation
Learn new skills, habits, and coping strategies
It means we are not stuck. With consistent practice and focus, we can reshape our mental landscape. New pathways are formed not just through insight, but through action repeated over time.
But... Neuroplasticity Slows After Our 20s
By our late 20s, the brain’s default mode becomes efficiency. Neural pruning ramps up—meaning connections that aren't used often are eliminated. Think of it like spring cleaning for your mind: the brain keeps what you use and tosses what you don’t.
This is why healing, changing habits, or learning something new can feel harder with age. The brain is more “set in its ways”—unless we actively engage in learning, practice, and focused repetition. The good news?
The more you challenge your brain, the more capacity it has to grow.
The If/Then Trap: Why Thinking Isn’t Doing
Here’s where many people get stuck:
“If I feel better, then I’ll start exercising.”“If work slows down, then I’ll go to therapy.”“If I’m less anxious, then I’ll set boundaries.”
This If/Then distortion is a cognitive trap. It tricks the brain into believing that thinking about doing something is equivalent to actually doing it. Neurologically, even visualizing a task can light up parts of the brain involved in action—but without follow-through, those circuits fade.
Thinking about action ≠ rewiring your brain.
In fact, mental rehearsal without behavioral engagement can reinforce avoidance, self-doubt, and paralysis. Your brain gets the message: "This is just another loop—we think about it, but we never actually change."
Break the Trap: 3 Steps to Build a Resilient Brain
From the Untangling Trauma workbook, here’s a quick strategy to escape the If/Then trap and build real neuroplasticity:
1. Pinpoint the Present Moment
Catch the If/Then pattern in real-time. Ask yourself:
“What am I waiting for?”“What am I avoiding by putting action into the future?”
Recognize the trap without judgment. Awareness is the first step toward building a new pathway.
2. Interrupt the Loop with a Challenge
Here’s where people often misunderstand motivation. Taking a tiny step that’s too easy won’t activate the brain’s reward system—and it won’t create new neural pathways. The brain is built to respond to just enough challenge.
This is where your window of tolerance matters.
Think of your stress tolerance on a scale of 0 to 100:
0–30: Too easy. The brain disengages.
40–70: Ideal challenge zone—engaged, focused, and growing.
80–100: Too overwhelming. The nervous system may shift into freeze, fight, or flight.
Choose a micro-action that pushes you slightly out of comfort—but doesn’t push you into shutdown. This sweet spot is where the brain learns, adapts, and grows stronger.
Examples:
Set a 15-minute timer to tackle the first part of a difficult task
Say no once this week in a situation where you usually say yes
Make the call you’ve been avoiding—then debrief what came up emotionally
The goal is to build the mental muscle of showing up, even when you’re uncertain or uncomfortable.
3. Repeat with Intention
Don’t wait to feel ready. Neuroplasticity doesn’t care about readiness—it responds to repetition.
"What can I repeat today that supports who I want to become?"
Remember, your brain listens to what you do, not what you intend.
Final Thought
You don't have to be perfect. You just have to practice on purpose. The more you engage with the present moment, the more your brain strengthens the neural architecture of focus, discipline, and resilience.
Use it to lose it. Lose the trap. Gain the mind you’re meant to have.
Ready to Put This Into Practice?
If you’re a Georgia resident looking for direct, data-driven support to retrain your mind and overcome trauma, anxiety, or grief, I offer one-on-one counseling through my structured Untangled Mind Pathway™.
We don’t just talk—we track your progress, build resilience, and create real change.
Not in Georgia? You can still get started. My Untangling Trauma workbook walks you through the very tools outlined in this post—designed to help you break free from old patterns and rebuild your brain with intention.
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