Truth Over Comfort: What I Say as Your Therapist Without Sugarcoating It

There’s a trending reel format circulating on Instagram: “What I’d say as your therapist if I wasn’t worried about your feelings.”

But here’s the thing, I’m not worried about your feelings in the way you might think.

I care about your healing, not your comfort. My job isn’t to validate your defenses. It’s to challenge them. Not with cruelty but with clarity and conviction.

As Dostoevsky said:

“Nothing in this world is harder than speaking the truth, nothing easier than flattery.”

I didn’t become a therapist to flatter you. I’m here to help you change.

Ten Truths You Might Not Want to Hear, But Need To:

1. You’re not broken, but you are responsible.

Your past may explain your pain, but it doesn’t excuse your patterns. Ownership is the beginning of change.

2. Coping isn’t curing.

You can regulate your nervous system all day, but if you’re not identifying and replacing distorted thoughts, you’re just putting a bandage on a deeper wound.

3. Feelings are data, not commands.

You can acknowledge an emotion without obeying it. Just because you feel like a failure doesn’t mean you are one.

4. Avoiding discomfort builds anxiety.

Every time you avoid what scares you, the fear grows. Exposure is the road to freedom, even when it’s uncomfortable.

5. Insight without action is another form of avoidance.

Understanding your patterns is useless if you don’t act on that insight. You don’t need more awareness. You need follow-through.

6. Growth requires consistency, not convenience.

If you’re only showing up for therapy when it’s easy, you’re not in it for transformation; you’re in it for relief.

7. Venting without a strategy keeps you stuck.

Endless processing can feel productive, but without a structure or plan, you're just deepening the groove of your distress.

8. You’re waiting to feel ready, but readiness comes from doing.

Confidence isn’t a prerequisite for change; it’s a byproduct. Action leads. Emotion follows.

9. Your self-help is suffocating you.

Most of what you’re consuming isn’t designed to help you grow—it’s designed to keep you engaged. Pop psychology influencers push emotional highs with no accountability. These books and posts flatter your ego but don’t confront your dysfunction. They’re not written for transformation—they’re written for comfort

Stop with "let them"...please. Just stop.

10. Consumption isn’t integration.

Even solid tools won’t help if you treat therapy like a revolving door or skim through content like it's entertainment. Jumping from therapist to therapist or hoarding insight without applying it is just another form of avoidance.

Depth—not variety—is where the real change happens.