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Writer's picturePiper Harris, APC NCC

Sending Out an SOS: A Guide to Building the Support System You Need to Grow

Surrounding Ourselves Strategically





Recently, I watched Jordan B. Peterson’s analysis of what he called the “X Team,” featuring a lineup of bold, influential figures like Trump, Musk, Kennedy, Gabbard, Varswamy, and Vance. Peterson’s breakdown of their personalities and the ways they complement (and even clash with) each other was fascinating. His insights helped me think more about the importance of creating a team—not just in a corporate or political setting but for each of us in our personal and professional lives.


When I say “team,” I’m not only talking about a workgroup or a company unit. A team can be anyone who supports your growth, whether it’s family, friends, colleagues, mentors, or community members. It’s a mix of people you trust and rely on, those who bring out your strengths and help balance out your weaknesses. This might look like close friends who encourage you, family members who ground you, mentors who guide you, or colleagues who challenge you to think differently. We all have our unique goals and challenges, and a well-chosen team can make a difference in any area of life.


Understanding the Big Five Personality Traits and Why They Matter


The Big Five personality model includes five main traits: Agreeableness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Neuroticism, and Openness, each with two subcategories. Peterson’s analysis shows how each of these traits affects the dynamics of a team—whether it’s a group of political leaders or our own personal “power team.”


Here’s a quick breakdown of each trait and how it might play into a group setting:


  1. Agreeableness: This trait includes compassion and politeness, which help create warmth and trust in a team. But if everyone’s too agreeable, there may be a lack of assertiveness when making decisions.

  2. Conscientiousness: With sub-traits like industriousness and orderliness, conscientiousness brings a sense of structure and reliability. However, if this trait is too high across the board, it could stifle creativity.

  3. Extraversion: Traits like enthusiasm and assertiveness energize and motivate a group. But too much extraversion might lead to too much talking and not enough listening.

  4. Neuroticism: This trait, involving aspects like withdrawal and volatility, deals with emotional sensitivity. Lower neuroticism can create calm, while too much can lead to constant worry or fear.

  5. Openness: Openness includes intellect and creativity. People high in openness are great at coming up with new ideas, but they might struggle with routine tasks.


To help understand my own traits better, I took the “Understand Myself” assessment created by Peterson. My scores showed high conscientiousness and extraversion, meaning I’m organized, proactive, and thrive in social settings. However, my openness in areas like aesthetics is relatively low, so while I tend to be highly structured, I’m not naturally inclined toward creative or abstract thinking. Knowing this, I can intentionally look for teammates who bring in that creative spark or adaptability I may lack, helping me round out my approach.


Why Building a Team Matters for Personal Growth


As a therapist, I’ve seen time and again how important it is to have a supportive team around us. It’s easy to think that grit and hard work are all we need to achieve our goals, but sometimes, sheer determination isn’t enough. The best outcomes in therapy come when clients not only work hard but also have a strong support network—whether that’s family, friends, or even a professional team. Growth happens faster and feels more sustainable when we’re surrounded by people who believe in us and can help us see our strengths as well as our blind spots.


Building a team of supportive people doesn’t mean we rely on them to solve our problems, but it does mean that we’re creating a circle that helps us stay steady and move forward. Like therapy, building a team is about recognizing both our strengths and our limits. It’s about finding people who lift us up, fill in the gaps, and challenge us to keep growing.


Five Simple Steps to Build Your Own Power Team


If you’re ready to build your own “power team,” here are five easy steps to get started. This approach works whether you’re looking to grow personally, professionally, or a bit of both.


  1. Understand Your Own Strengths and Areas for Growth Start by getting a clear picture of what you’re naturally good at and where you might need support. Self-assessment tools, like the Big Five, can help reveal what you bring to any situation and where you might benefit from someone else’s perspective. Knowing yourself well makes it easier to find people who add balance to your life.

  2. Think About What You Want from Your Team Whether you’re looking to build a supportive group of friends, create a meaningful work team, or strengthen family connections, it helps to be clear on what you want that team to achieve together. Having a purpose—even if it’s just a general sense of support or connection—gives direction to the kind of people you want by your side. (Also known as setting clear expectations and boundaries).

  3. Look for People with Traits That Complement Yours Once you know your own strengths and tendencies, find people who bring something different to the table. For example, if you’re great with planning but could use some creativity, look for those who think outside the box. This way, you’re creating a group that’s well-rounded, so you all benefit from each other’s unique qualities.

  4. Encourage Everyone to Play to Their Strengths When each person feels valued for what they’re good at, everything flows more smoothly. Someone who’s detail-oriented might thrive in planning roles, while a natural communicator might shine when connecting with others. Knowing what each person brings helps everyone feel seen and appreciated.

  5. Keep Communication Open and Honest Every great team—whether it’s family, friends, or coworkers—depends on open, honest communication. When people feel safe sharing their thoughts and feedback, it helps the whole team stay connected, adapt, and grow together. Regular check-ins and open conversations help everyone feel they’re in it together.

My Out-of-This-World Team: The Figures Who Inspire Me


When I think of building a powerful team, I can’t help but imagine the incredible, iconic individuals who inspire me daily. My “out-of-this-world” team is made up of figures from history, faith, family, and even legends—each one carrying traits that I admire and strive to embody in my own life. These are the people who’ve left an indelible mark on the world and on me personally, whether through their writings, their faith, their wisdom, or simply their example.


Jesus Christ, my Savior, exemplifies humility and sacrifice in a way that no one else could. He is the ultimate model of love and selflessness, and his teachings constantly remind me of what it means to serve others without seeking anything in return. His example shapes the foundation of my faith and my approach to every relationship.


Marcus Aurelius, the great Roman emperor, was both a ruler and a reflective philosopher. Through his writings in Meditations, he reveals his inner struggles and humanity, making him relatable despite his power. His stoic approach to life and leadership reminds me of the importance of balance, resilience, and humility, even in challenging roles.


Sigmund Freud may have had some unconventional ideas, but he’s the father of modern psychology for a reason. He brought determination and courage to a field that was uncharted and, at the time, widely criticized. Despite opposition, Freud persisted, paving the way for the field of psychology that I work in today. His tenacity reminds me of the importance of holding on to one’s convictions, even when they’re not widely accepted.


St. Catherine of Siena, known as the “Fiery Saint,” embodied courage and conviction. She wasn’t afraid to challenge authority—she famously told the Pope to get out of France and return to Rome. Her boldness and fierce commitment to what she believed in inspire me to be strong in my own convictions, especially when advocating for what I know to be right. She famously said, "Be who God meant you to be, and you will set the world on fire."

Julia Child – An inspiring figure of reinvention, Julia Child didn’t find her passion for cooking until her 30s and then used her skills strategically to introduce French cuisine to American audiences. Her warmth, humor, and persistence to pivot through obstacles in both her career and personal life embody adaptability, and she showed that it’s never too late to pursue a new path with enthusiasm and grit. She brought incredible energy, courage, and adaptability to the table, embodying a spirit of strategic perseverance and innovation in the face of challenges.


My “big sister,” Krista, taught me about grace and love in ways words can hardly capture. Krista was the first to speak to me about reframing my view of self. Though she passed away far too young, her life was filled with kindness, forgiveness, and unconditional support. Krista’s memory lives on as a reminder that strength doesn’t always need to be loud and that real grace is found in quiet, loving actions.


Queen Sheba, celebrated for her beauty, was also a symbol of wisdom and strength in a time when women often had little influence. She defied the odds, using her power wisely and showing that true influence doesn’t depend on gender or position but on character and intelligence. Her legacy inspires me to embrace my own inner strength and wisdom, no matter the circumstances.


Robin Williams was a master of humor who used his incredible wit and energy to bring joy to millions, yet he carried his own deep struggles. His life reminds me that humor can be a powerful tool to uplift others but can also serve as a mask, concealing a person’s own pain. Robin’s story makes me acutely aware of how humor, while healing, can sometimes hide deeper wounds. He inspires me to look beyond laughter and connect on a genuine level with others, especially those who use humor to cope with their own struggles.


The Benefits of Having a Strong Team


When you build a team of people who complement each other, you’re setting yourself up for growth in so many ways. You’ll have different perspectives that make problem-solving easier, a network that offers support in times of stress, and the kind of well-rounded dynamic that keeps things interesting. Whether it’s a team for work or personal support, having others to lean on makes everything just a little easier—and often, a lot more successful.


So, think about who you want by your side as you work toward your goals. A team doesn’t have to be full of high-powered personalities; it just needs to be a group of people who bring out the best in each other. With the right people in your corner, you’ll be ready to tackle whatever comes your way.


And, if you feel at a loss for who could be on your team, try envisioning a power team much like my own above. What traits do you value in others? What strengths do you admire that could help balance out your own weaknesses? Visualization is a powerful tool—take a moment to imagine the qualities that would inspire and challenge you. Maybe you see resilience, creativity, compassion, or strategic thinking. Picture people who bring those qualities into your life, whether they’re real or imagined. This exercise can help you get a clearer sense of the support you need to grow and thrive.

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