All I Need to Know If We Could Work Together Comes Down to a Shopping Cart

Small acts reveal big truths.

The parking lot of a home goods store gave me all the data I needed.

A mother and her teenage daughter loaded up their car and then casually shoved the shopping cart up onto a nearby curb. Not back into the corral. Not toward the storefront. Just... off to the side. Done with it.

No pause. No second thought. No respect for the space they shared with others.

And in that small, seemingly mundane act, I knew everything I needed to know about whether I could work with someone like that in therapy.

Because here’s the thing: if you can’t walk your cart back, you’re probably not going to follow through in counseling.

That may sound harsh. It’s not. It’s honest.

The Cart is the Commitment

There’s a mindset behind the cart-left-on-the-curb. A refusal to do the small thing because it doesn't directly benefit you. A belief that someone else will take care of it. That it’s not your job. That you’ve done enough just by showing up.

Sound familiar?

It’s the same mindset I sometimes see in therapy: someone arrives, says they want to change, says they want to feel better, but then does nothing between sessions. Doesn’t reflect. Doesn’t try the homework. Doesn’t engage with the discomfort that comes with real progress.

They’re not here to do the work. They’re here to be seen trying.

And I get it. Change is hard. Especially when you’ve been carrying pain, grief, anxiety, or trauma for years. It becomes comfortable in its own twisted way, like an old, threadbare coat. It might be tattered and heavy, but it’s familiar. It’s yours.

So when I ask someone to do the emotional equivalent of walking the cart back, showing up on time, tracking thoughts, testing behaviors, confronting long-standing patterns, I know immediately who’s in and who’s going to ghost their growth.

Motivation: The Great Divide

Most people say they want to change. Fewer mean it.

Because real change threatens the status quo. It chips away at old narratives like:

• “I’m the one who always suffers.”

• “Nothing ever works for me.”

• “This is just how I am.”

• “People should understand, not expect.”

• 
  

Underneath these statements is a subtle but powerful desire to stay stuck because stuck still serves a purpose.

Some clients find identity in their pain. Others use it to maintain a form of control. Some wear it like martyrdom, proving they’ve endured. And others? They’ve simply grown passive, acquiescing to life instead of participating in it. Laziness, not in effort, but in intention.

And here's the truth: therapy doesn’t work if your goal is to be heard but not be moved.

So… What Does the Cart Say?

It says whether you’re willing to inconvenience yourself for the good of the whole. Whether you believe effort matters, even when no one’s watching. Whether you're willing to take ownership of small things, because that’s where change starts.

Therapy, coaching, and growth are not built on big breakthroughs alone. It’s built on the daily return of the metaphorical cart. Choosing to be better when it's easier not to be.

So, no—I don’t need a personality test or a 10-session intake to know if we’ll work well together.

Sometimes all I need is to watch what you do with your cart. Want to listen in to more? Check it out below.