When Talking Helps—And When It Doesn’t:

Piper Harris, APC NCC
Jun 23
2 min read

When Conversation Becomes a Loop, Real Progress Stalls

Therapy is a space where people often expect to “just talk”—and there’s a reason for that.

Sometimes you need a safe place to say things you’ve never said out loud. Sometimes, sitting across from someone who listens without judgment is the intervention. Sometimes, giving voice to your pain, your fears, your shame, or your grief is the beginning of healing.

And I’m not here to throw that out.

The Power of Talking

Talking can be powerful when:

It opens the door to insight
It helps you connect the dots that were scattered
It relieves emotional pressure so you can begin to think more clearly
It helps you feel seen in ways you haven’t before

As a therapist, I value that. I’ve seen how verbal processing can be a release valve—and how naming something out loud for the first time can be the start of transformation.

But Then What?

Here’s the part many therapists don’t say out loud: Talking alone doesn’t change your life.

And if you find yourself saying, “We just keep talking about the same thing,” you’re probably right. So the question becomes:

Is this about the therapist not challenging you—or have you stopped challenging yourself?

Therapy Is a Two-Way Contract

In my practice, I use structure, assessments, tools, and session plans for a reason. Because I hold myself accountable to your growth. But that means I also expect you to engage outside the session. If you’ve worked with me, you’ve likely heard me ask:

“Did you do your homework?”
“Have you practiced what we talked about?”
“What is it about not choosing that still feels safer?”

And that’s not pressure—it’s partnership. It’s a reminder that change doesn’t happen just by being heard. It happens by stepping into the discomfort, applying the tools, and building something new.

So, When Doesn’t Talking Help?

When it becomes a loop
When you’re saying the same thing you said last week
When the goal of the session is just emotional release, without movement
When you leave feeling momentarily relieved but perpetually stuck

That’s not therapy. That’s spinning. And I won’t let you spin without calling it out.

Talking Is the Start, Not the Finish

So yes—talking matters. But if that’s all we’re doing, something’s missing.

My role is to help you talk it through, then walk it forward—with tools, insight, and structure. Your role is to show up honestly, use what we build, and hold yourself accountable for what happens between sessions.

That’s when therapy works. That’s when real change happens. And that’s what I’m here for.